Monday 20-11-2023 - 12:09

International Men’s Day 2023 is upon us, and with it brings an opportunity to talk about the harsh stigma surrounding men’s mental health issues. As men, we are told continuously growing up to “be strong” and “man up” in the face of emotional vulnerability. For many of us, the desire to fit in leads you to blindly accepting these attitudes as “normal”, all in the name of what a man should be. As a result, so many men struggle with opening or even confronting their feelings, let alone sharing them with the rest of the world in an act that is so often seen as uncharacteristic vulnerability. This suppression has led to an overwhelming rise in men’s mental health issues, and the statistics speak for themselves. Whether this be 40% not feeling they are able to talk about their mental health with friends or family, or men aged 40 to 49 having the highest suicide rates in the UK, we need to tackle this head on, and I believe the first step is to start a conversation on why this has happened in the first place.
 
From my own perspective as a now 24-year-old non – straight man, the issues began right from childhood, and developed particularly fast during my high school years. Primary school allowed me a freedom to not only begin to figure out my sexuality, but be open about my interests, particularly those that were/are considered more feminine in nature. Whilst this is good, I do also have to ask, why are some interests even considered more masculine or feminine in the first place? In high school, any form of emotional expression as a man led to deep negative judgement from my peers and being labelled as gay based solely on my approach to emotion, and thus the “bury my feelings” cycle began. When you combine general teenage feelings with an overwhelming refusal to acknowledge who you are attracted to based on societal expectations, (and how you aren’t in the majority), you’ve got yourself a harsh cocktail of mental self-dismissal.
 
Becoming part of a more diverse and enriching culture at University did help to tackle my internal refusal to even recognise when I needed to talk about my feelings, but I still think a lot more needs to be done. I met men who were extremely open and expressive about their own mental health experiences, and it was truly inspiring. I couldn’t believe such an environment existed in which you were admired MORE for opening up! That being said, more workshops need to be taking place to give men the opportunity to discuss their feelings and be open about their mental health struggles, as well as to recognise the signs of someone who may be going through a period of particular mental struggle and perhaps feels as though they can’t take the first step in getting some help by having a conversation.
 
My aim with this blog post was of course to acknowledge the positive value that ALL men bring to the world, their communities, and their families as part of International Men’s Day, but with a particular focus on men within the LGBTQ+ community. I do want to reiterate that it is okay to talk to someone if you are struggling with your mental health, and it is okay to accept that you may need some help to get through it.