Thursday 03-02-2022 - 12:20

I heard a fact once that is unforgettable: loneliness is just as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. This quote hit home. Loneliness can change a person’s entire demeanour. It is considered a lethal disease and it’s a silent epidemic that clouds over so many people every day.

 

 

Loneliness is personal to me; in my opinion it affects students the most because nobody is warned about it before we decide to go to university.

 

I know what it is like to be lonely. I moved to Edge Hill from Northern Ireland. I left home at 18, moved away from my friends, family and left a small village where the most exciting thing that happened there is when we got a new Chinese takeaway shop. I didn’t know anyone before I came to Ormskirk. Now, I’m 21 and living independently.

 

I don’t want to bore you with my story. However, I think part of how we combat loneliness is that we share our feelings.

I’m a huge admirer of Jo Cox because she was the first MP in my lifetime to recognise how everyone is affected by loneliness, specifically amongst university students because she experienced the height of her loneliness when she attended university and described her experience as being a ‘fish out of water.’ As the late Ms Cox once said: ‘we are far more united and have far more in common than that which divides us.’

 

Jo Cox released a commission on loneliness, and her hard fight to combat this unseen epidemic is still thriving today in her memory. Everyone has experienced this feeling at some point, whether that’s going to university, starting a new job, losing friends you never thought you would, or feeling invisible even when surrounded by people.

The most important thing to remember is there is someone for everyone, and eventually, people find their people.

Loneliness isn’t an easy feeling to combat. There isn’t a simple ‘how to combat loneliness’ guide because loneliness can be different for everybody. However, I can share what helped me personally and give examples of what we offer as a Students’ Union to help students find their family.

 

I learnt to embrace my independence, give everything a go and do all the things you love.

 

A lot of the time, I found myself sitting in my flat looking out my window nearly being envious of what other people were doing because they looked like they were having fun and I started to fixate on minor things that I couldn’t control. I have been a victim of constantly saying: “but I have no one to do it with”, “no one is free” or “I don’t want to go on my own.”

I was destroying my own mental health by not doing all the things I loved. I stopped going to the gym, I stopped acting and I stopped dancing. Those are my passions in life, and for some weird reason, I stopped just because I didn’t have anyone to go with.

 

I found the strength to push myself and be brave. I took up new classes to reinvigorate my passion. Make no mistake, first few times I went to a new class alone, I was petrified. But slowly, these classes helped me bring down my walls. Other people opened up to me, too. It started with just a smile and brief chat, but soon enough, these people became my friends.

For me, small encounters are the moments that make my day. I encourage everyone to be kind and find common ground with people, because you might just make that person’s day a little bit brighter.

 

Like many people, I went to university on my own, but that doesn’t have to mean loneliness. If you’re feeling lonely here at Edge Hill, the most important thing to remember is you will meet people along the way.

 

One way to find your family is through Edge Hill Students’ Unions Societies. When I was studying for my degree, I joined Edge Hill Dance Society and it was the best way to find people and make friends who were just like me. Edge Hill Students’ Union has 64 Societies you can join, ranging from academic societies, recreational or charity and liberation societies. I can guarantee there is something for you. If you visit our Students’ Union website and go to the societies tab you can find out everything you need to know there. If you can’t find something that is of interest you can create your own society you might surprise yourself by how many people can have the same interests.

 

You could also participate in one of our taster sessions. I’m sure you’re wondering, what are taster sessions?

Taster sessions are a chance for you to try out Societies. If you didn’t join a Society straight away when you first came to university, but now you want to put yourself out there and make some new friends, you can try one out before you fully sign up as a permanent member. You can try as many or as few as you like, and find the right fit for you.

 

I’m aware university is a lot of work and everyone needs down time, but one of the best things I did at university was get a job alongside my studies. I worked as an usher part time in the Arts Centre on campus, and my work colleagues became people I can truly count on, and we remain friends to this day.

 

If you are wanting to earn a bit of extra money, our Students’ Union Bar usually offers part time work or full time work at the start of the year, so keep an eye on our social media accounts and there could be something for you.

Plus, there is me, your Student Engagement Officer. One of my responsibilities is to represent you, and I’m always here to listen. If you would ever like to have a cup of tea and a chat, I’m here – and I can always signpost you to one of the many great services the Students’ Union and the University offer if you feel like you need extra help.

 

Rhiannon x

 

Contact me: Muiser@edgehill.ac.uk